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Mini-vacation on a budget

Posted by: DL  /  Category: Enviromental Matters, Family Matters, Life Matters, Money Matters, Social Matters

Since almost everyone is suffering without much money nowadays, most people think vacationing is not possible. When in fact, they can take a mini-vacation and enjoy themselves just as much as a lavish expensive vacation would have been.  But, they can have a vacation on a budget.

They can call friends or family members that are within a few hours drive of them, pack lightly, and drive to that destination.  They can tell the people they are going to be visiting in advance and ask them to look up fun things to do in their area that may be free or very cheap. They may take you to parks, camping areas, fishing, boating, kayaking, or just to see beautiful trails and the sites.

Set a daily budget for your trip and try your best to stick to that number.  If you can only afford $50 a day (excluding gas) you may decide that you can’t afford to eat out and go to all the different costly amusement places.  So, you may decide to purchase groceries and make sandwiches, take it along with you, and then go to amusement parks. It’s really how you look at things and decide to tweak your plans to fit your budget.

The idea of a vacation is to get out, breathe in the fresh air and be out of your usual day to day grind.  Of coarse if you have more money to spend you can go to more expensive places including (but not limited to): amusement parks, aquariums, zoos, restaurants, museums, historical areas, etc. These places charge a costly fee per person, so you may have to take turns going to pricey places on certain days and inexpensive or free places on other days.

The point is, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Just do things that you and your family find fun, and don’t worry about impressing anyone with tales of being on the open waters of the Bahama’s (on your vacation).  Sometimes the simple mini-vacations can mean a lot more to you and your family than being on a big vacation abroad could have been.  Becuse you can do things together as a family unit, and grow closer over the long drive and time together doing the simple things…

Oh Why Did They Invent the Plane?

Posted by: DL  /  Category: Family Matters, Life Matters, Social Matters

I know it may sound silly to some, but ever since I was a young child, I wondered why they decided to invent the airplane.  I mean, common sense tells us they invented it to get us from- point A to point B. Yes I know that of coarse, but if the inventors knew that planes would rip generations of families apart, sending them to different countries all over the world, would they have continued to do so?

What I mean by this is, I often times think of my family members who span many countries, left behind when my ancestors came to America.  How did they get by? Did they feel immense loss after seeing their family go away, only to return and visit every now and then, but never to return permanently?  Are they struggling now?  Do they miss us as much as we miss them?  Do the recent generations even know about us?  Or are we lost to them ever since we crossed over the vast landscapes?

Many of these thoughts churn through my mind, on occasion.  Ever since I was a child, I hoped that I would someday get a sibling to call my own.  Unfortunately, that dream never came true, but I often feel the need to be surrounded by family.  I have family dotted here and there throughout America and many different countries around the world.  But, I sometimes daydream what life would be like if we all lived in the same state or country.  We could all live near each other and get to know family members we’ve never met before, we could have our kid(s) grow up together.  Being like our own little community within the community.

There’s just something about a family gathering, the laughs, the food, the inside jokes, that really just can’t be detailed adequately with words.  The feeling of being loved immensely, surrounded by folks who understand you, understand your beliefs, your thoughts, and where you come from.

Even if a person sits down to a cup of tea with a plateful of goodies, doing it alone is very different than to really sit down and enjoy the moment with your family around you.

I guess most people who grew up in large households couldn’t wait to get out of that situation and find a calm and peaceful life after that.  Don’t get me wrong, I do like my peace and quiet, but I also want to have countless family members around me, so we could celebrate every fun occasion together, go out places together and the whole shebang.

I even have one great example that I’d like to share with all of you… I have a great Aunt who lives overseas and her husband comes from a very large family.   They all decided long ago that they didn’t want their kids to grow up separated and not know each other, so every month the entire family shows up at one person’s house.  They all eat, laugh, talk, share advice, and just have fun in a laid back atmosphere.  The next month, they all go to someone else’s home and do the same.  They’ve done this practice month after month, year after year, and I truly believe that the family is closer nit and more understanding of each other, due to it.

The guys all get together watch sports, talk about the latest news headlines, or what have you.  While they watch the kids at play.  The women go to the kitchen and help the lady of the house prepare the enormous meal it takes to feed all the guests.

But, at the end of the day, everyone feels satisfied and fulfilled, connected to every family member and they don’t feel overwhelmed by any of the tasks they did that day, because it was a group effort.  Several people prepared the cooking, several people set the table, several people set the food out, several people watched the kids, several people did the dishes, several people made the tea and coffee, then set out the desserts, and so on.  It’s just like a little ant community.  Everyone knows their roles, and whomever the host is at the party, that particular month, they’re the Queen.

These thoughts fill me with immense bittersweet emotions because I wish for this for myself and for my family, and yet we don’t have the opportunity to do so now, with our family living so far away from us, in different locations.  And that does somewhat pain me.

But, I know what our goals are, and I’m hoping that at some point, when my kids are on the verge of growing up, that they will get the opportunity to experience an experience such as the one I just mentioned, and they’ll have never remembered their lives before it.

Get Some Sleep

Posted by: DL  /  Category: Family Matters, Health Matters, Life Matters

Most people would say that they slept pretty well in their childhood years.  As we age, we are preoccupied with tv, video games, the internet, phone calls, etc and we can’t seem to sleep as much, once we become teenagers.  When we get older and enter college, we have to cram for tests, and stay up long hours to complete assignments, so sleep goes on the back burner.  Once we’re out of college, our sleep patterns may begin to level out to some degree, but then again when we become stressed from work, we sometimes can’t sleep as well.   Well, that was all in the past, but things really change once you become a parent.   Did you expect that at that point you’d have plenty of sleep?

The first year of a child’s life, they pretty much wake up throughout the night, but it gets better when they’re closer to one year old.  Then later, when the child is past about a year old, their sleep pattern gets better and they might not wake up during the night, except on rare occasion.  But then, we’re so busy with all the little things we couldn’t get done when the little person was with awake, that we want to do those tasks in the peace and tranquility, of a quiet home.

Then again, doing so sets you back again because the longer you stay awake to do your tasks, the less you’ll sleep, and you can be sure you’ll get woken up pretty groggily and exhausted in the morning, because you needed more sleep.

Recent studies show that lack of sleep heightens the risk of a variety of major illnesses including: cancer, heart disease, diabetes and obesity.

But, how much sleep do we need exactly?  Well, it’s safe to say that every person is different.  Some people may only need 7 hours of sleep to function well, while others may need as much as 10 hours of sleep to function properly.  It doesn’t mean that certain people are lazy or incapable of doing much, it just means that their bodies are in need of more sleep, to catch up on the rest that their body is lacking.

A great tip to get your mind prepared for sleep is to turn off most of the lights (in your home), turn down the tv or stereo, brush your teeth and get ready for bed (from nearly an hour before bed), all to send the signal to your brain that sleep is impending.  Some people even choose to lay in bed, read a good book, and eventually their eyelids will feel like they have 50 pound weights on them, and they’ll slowly drift into a peaceful slumber.

Either way, get the amount of sleep you need, by going to bed around the same time nightly.  Don’t drink any caffeine within a few hours of bedtime, keep things calm and quiet to signal your brain that sleep is on it’s way, and be selfish for once, and get all the sleep you need.

Stress vs Burnout

Posted by: DL  /  Category: Family Matters, Health Matters, Life Matters

In this day and age, people often times have so much to do and little time to do it.  Between juggling jobs, caring for their spouses and kids, cleaning house, cooking, appointments, phone calls, etc. many people don’t make it a priority to just unplug themselves from everything, even if only for a day.

People need to realize that they are their own advocate and there is no need for them to explain their actions to anyone else, to satisfy them.  Each person is living their own life, with their own goals and ideas in mind and when they need to do something that will benefit them indefinitely, they don’t need to find an excuse to tell people why they are doing it.

You have every right to find your center and begin to seek a way to live your life in a calm fashion.  Find ways to reduce your stress and chaotic lifestyle by prioritizing the things that you are doing now vs the things that need to be done.  You may choose to extract several things from your “to do list” that you hastily added to your (already bursting at the seems) load.  Removing these tasks may help uplift you and remove a great deal of weight off of your mind.

It’s imperative that every human being gets a chance to be “off” at least once a week (or more) to recharge their energy, refocus on what’s important in their lives as well as giving their bodies and minds a chance to rest.  Each person should be able to plan a day (weekly), when nothing is required of them, except the bare minimum. A day when they have nothing written on their schedules except to have a good time that day, doing whatever they need to do to please themselves.

If someone is not in charge of recharging themselves, chances are, nobody is going to sit them down and tell them that they’re doing too much.  The old adage, “The more you give, the more people will take” comes to mind.  Make it a routine, where one day (or more) a week you become unreachable by phone, e-mail, texting, or what have you. On that day, do very little except to sit back and kick up your heels, you just do whatever it is that you need to do to keep in touch with yourself.

Often times, we are encouraged to do more and more tasks daily and it is a major detriment to our health.  A common problem with most adults, is stress. Stress leads to all sorts of medical issues, such as depression, obesity, lack of focus, etc. as well as causing the person to be on edge all the time, and not much fun to be around. Not to mention, they’re so caught up in what needs to be done and what to do next, that they don’t get the chance to enjoy the moment. They need to sit back and enjoy the little things that they may have done,  a thousand times before, but may have never noticed the true beauty in it.

When stress is overlooked and they keep pushing themselves and don’t see the warning signs that their bodies and minds are about to shut down, they may start to enter into the dangerous burn-out phase.

Burnout is commonly characterized by:

  • Feeling tired and drained a lot of the time
  • Lowered immunity, feeling sick often
  • Frequent recurring headaches, back pain, muscle aches
  • Change in appetite (increase/decrease) or sleep habits

Emotional symptoms of burnout:

  • Sense of failure and self-doubt
  • Feeling helpless, trapped, and defeated
  • Detachment, feeling alone in the world, not caring for anyone
  • Loss of motivation, nothing seems to matter anymore
  • Increasingly cynical and negative outlook on life
  • Decreased satisfaction and sense of accomplishment

Behavioral symptoms of burnout:

  • Withdrawing from responsibilities
  • Isolating yourself from others
  • Procrastinating, taking longer to get things done or never getting to things that need to be done
  • Using food, drugs, or alcohol to cope with what you’re feeling
  • Taking out your frustrations on others (screaming/shouting)
  • Skipping work or coming in late and leaving early with no fears of the consequence.

Recovering from Burnout:

There are 3 tips that are very important to remember if you feel yourself slipping into burnout terratory or if you have a family member or friend going through it.

Tip #1- Slow down or take a break

Tip #2- Share what you’re feeling with someone who can give you some support, and give a helping hand to help you through this tough time

Tip #3- Reevaluate your goals and priorities- Remember that your goals are not set in concrete. If you have to reevaluate the things you think are important for you to accomplish to please other people, refocus yourself and do what you feel needs to be done to improve your life, by your own standards.

Pursue a hobby that you’ve always loved and let fall by the wasteside or search for hobbies that you may have always wanted to learn.  Either way, find something that interests you enough to spark the passion in you to come out and make you feel like yourself again, or better.

Marital Woes

Posted by: DL  /  Category: Family Matters

Most people know that a relationship is supposed to be based on love, mutual respect, commonalities, goals, and aspirations (to name a few).  But, often times people forget all about their marital relations, after babies come along.

It is important for the couple to focus on the new child, of coarse, but it isn’t an excuse for one parent to neglect the other. The couple needs to actively work on keeping their relationship solid, especially in this day and age, when divorce rates are at an all time high.

Couples need to put the child to bed at night, and have some quiet time alone when they can enjoy the little things, together.  It could be something as simple as eating dinner together, uninterrupted; watching a movie on tv; or having someone (reliable) watch your sleeping child, as you and your partner go out on the town, etc.

There is so much to do and so little time to do it, we (married people) need to be sure that we keep our relationships strong.  Make the new little person bring you together, instead of ripping you apart. Try and balance the responsibilities between the parents, so that there isn’t an overwhelming burden on one parent or the other.

Overall, anything worth something in life is hard work.  A marriage requires no less than dedication, hard work and a little compromise.   Try not to stick to your opinion 100% and completely disregard the other person’s point of view.  Try to keep an open communication dialog between the two of you and discuss with your partner, the struggles of the day.  Sitting back and saying, “I had a hard day because…” or “I need your advice on something…” will most likely bond the couple further and let them realize that they are a team working together, on this family.  They are not separate individuals working on this problem alone, against their long time rival.

Often times, the thing that makes most couples fall apart are finances, adultery, and lack of communication.  This article focuses mainly on the latter.  Don’t forget that everything we do is directly correlated with the way the child will be raised.

If you have a disagreement, there is no need to hash it out in front of the child(ren).  You must refocus yourself and say, “I think we need to discuss this in depth, later.” And stick to it.  Don’t say, “Well, because so and so didn’t stop fussing over this, I’m gonna let em’ have it.”

Because honestly, the only person who’s gonna have it, is that child that sits there innocently while they hear both parties shouting and screaming, with fear in their little hearts.  No need to put this little person through all that.  Just push aside the ego and bickering, and pick a more appropriate venue for your discussion.