I can’t stand people who are two faced, people that can smile with you one second, and talk behind your back with seething anger or envy, all wrapped neatly underneath a calm facade. People should be honest with their feelings, especially when many people can’t hide it, because it’s written all over their faces.
Every person is entitled to privacy, that much we all know. But, when a person pokes or prods someone else into doing something that they really don’t want to do, or make them feel uncomfortable with their line of questioning, I think it’s a huge injustice. I think they’re absolutely taking advantage of the other person’s embarrassment or their naturally naive nature. If a close friend makes a suggestion, it isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but if something is said in malice with the intention of hurting the other, quite frankly I think it’s just another form of childish bullying.
Not everyone has the same opinions about things, so if you disagree with someone else, it doesn’t mean that there is a need to shout or cause an all-out brawl with the other person. The parties can then agree to disagree, as the proverb says. But, when you disagree with someone else, there’s no need to force the subject. They may eventually come around to your point of view, but not when they feel forced into making a hasty decision, as if they have a revolver held to their temple.
Every person is entitled to have their own reactions to different situations in their lives, be it anger, sadness, depression, excitement, jubilation, etc. But there is a fine line that they must not cross over. They can show their reactions without lashing out and verbally, physically or psychologically abusing those around them. Many people tend to blurt out horribly painful remarks to those around them, before analyzing whether what they were about to say was offensive. Bad remarks and hurtful words to others are things that can cause an uproar affecting those around them. Often times, it makes a person keep their distance from such a person and they may end up losing friends over recurring, uncontrollable outbursts.
I have an example in my own life. Back when I was in Culinary school, we were having a meeting with the Sous Chefs (of which I was one), and the Executive Chefs in charge of the Culinary program. I vented my frustrations by ranting and raving about what a student had put me through, earlier in the day. I raved and raved for many minutes, without anyone uttering a word. When I was done with my speech, I looked around to see my fellow Sous Chefs and Executive Chefs just staring back at me. The look on their faces was worth a thousand words. I couldn’t even tell you the look of shock and distaste that they had on their faces. I had just about burst at the seems and laid everything out on the line, without filtering anything before I said it.
I realized at that point the huge mistake I had made. I vowed from that day forward not to lose my temper to the point that I could make a fool of myself and no longer be taken seriously. I decided that if I had a problem, I had to resolve it by going to that person, talking to them in a reasonable manner and be a part of resolving the problem. I think that day, everybody just had so much going on in their own lives, that they were utterly shocked when I just threw the information at them, at the lightning speed of a tornado.
So, my advice to you is this– when you feel yourself getting agitated and you know that you’re going to explode, try your best to remove yourself from the situation long enough to find a way to calm yourself down and then return to the situation once you know what you’re going to say and say it in a tone that is not threatening, but calm. People will listen to you and try to help you out with it, if you do it in the correct manner. Otherwise, they will just shut down and not want to listen to it all. They’d prefer to just pretend it never happened and move on, making you feel like a fool.
